Fear fears one thing. To open self to the other. To reach out not in. To bear the burdens of a neighbor. Christians (among others) have taught for millennium that “there is no fear in love,” and that “perfect love drives out fear.” I agree. I believe fear has a life all its own and its enemy is love. Fear fears love for love casts out fear. I am encouraged to love, and I find that fear is impossible when there is no thought of self. Love turns the self outward. Love drives a person to give, to put self last, to have no thought of self-betterment.
I distinctly remember a time when I was young. My mother was standing at the front door of our home in Jackson, Mississippi. I was running out to play, and she said, “I love you.” There was an empty space of expectation. I was supposed to say, “I love you too.” But the words would not escape my lips. This happened often as my mother or father would say, “I love you.” The longer I held in the proper response, the harder it became to release, and I felt horrible. Each time my mother or father would say, “I love you,” I would feel anxiety deep in my belly. One day, quite unexpectedly, after a year of this inner struggle, my mother was standing in the open door. She said in her high lyrical soprano voice, all happy, “I love you.” Without thinking, I mumbled, “I love you too.” It was a moment of teenager transformation. The next day, I replied in full voice, “I love you too.” And at some point thereafter I remember before the words could escape my mother’s lips, I said, “I love you.” There was no vacuous moment. She simply said, “I love you too.”
We see this fear of love on every front today, in our own lives, in school, at work, in politics, between countries, between cultures. Fear drives us. Fear defends itself. But if we dare, if we allow ourselves the possibility, then a transformation can happen. It can happen with a simple action that opens us up to the possibilities of love in its many forms, for the only way to learn to love, is to love. And once we do, there is no locking it up again.
“There is no remedy for love, but to love more.” (Henry David Thoreau)
