We lost Joe only days ago, but we have NOT lost the memories and lessons learned from our years with him. Over twenty years have passed since he left the public spotlight. We have missed his bold leadership and the excitement he generated in the retailing world. It’s important to note, however, that his legacy lives on. The memories are strong and his influence continues. This is why the New York Times recently called him a legend – a fitting title; for a legend is one who inspires legends or stories coming down from the past; stories regarded as historical although not always verifiable. Myths and stories have grown up around Joe, inspired by his vision, his tenacity, his sense of royalty, and his success.
“JOE THE GIVER”
Winston Churchill once said, “We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.”
Joseph E. Brooks - - the husband of Alice for almost 62 years, father of Tom, Elizabeth, Victoria, Grandfather of Little Tom, Bo, Lexi, Cameron and Ryan, Father-in-law of Eric and Judy, and friend of those gathered here - - Joe was a giver.
He spent his life planning his gifts. Nothing gave him more pleasure and heartache. And he expected nothing in return…. Well maybe one thing - - a heartfelt thank you note. But not always…
I remember the day I called Joe from the Metro North, afraid I was having a heart attack, Joe dropped everything, raced to the station, met me at the train, helped me avoid the ambulance waiting, drove me to the hospital and stayed with me until all was well. I lay there worried more about him than myself, finding it hard to believe how much he cared, wanting to make sure he was comfortable but his concern was for me. This is not unusual or particular. You’ve been there. Joe calling the doctors for you. Rushing to the hospital. Sending you flowers. Calling. Reaching out for help for you and others. Always for others.
Most of you here today could stand up and tell not one but two, maybe three, maybe more ways in which Joe gave thoughtfully to you. We could total thousands on a list right here in this space and lift it up in tribute and thanks to this man. I know because I’ve witnessed his benevolence. I saw the quiet ways he gave, a hundred dollars slipped to someone in need. Children’s clothes thoughtfully chosen and sent to someone’s young child, buying furniture for someone’s new home, helping someone with a down payment, loaning a man money to support his troubled business, co-signing a loan, helping someone buy a needed car, helping a friend’s child find a job or get into a college. At a time when it wasn’t a popular stand, he was one of the first public figures to support AIDS research. He did this through the HARVARD AIDS Institute. You’ve all seen his generosity.
His was a life of good fortune that he created and shared with everyone.
We are here today because Joe was a giver. He made a life by what he gave. He personified those words of Churchill.
Today, we are here to give back to Joe and to his wonderful family. To let them know and to send our thoughts to heaven to let Joe know how much we love him and the family. How much our lives have forever been disrupted to the core and turned on end by this man we love so much. And we are here to let him know what grief our hearts cannot bear. To release our anguish for a life God has called too soon. To shake our fist to the heavens because we needed more time. Joe was to outlive us all. Or so we thought. And this can make us angry.
Let’s not be afraid of our anger. If we feel anger towards God, towards Joe, towards others, towards ourselves. This is okay. This is part of grief, and grief has a life all its own. Don’t be afraid to feel that pain, to feel loss, to laugh, to cry, to feel shame and guilt, or to feel joy. There is a time for all of these things. And like Joe, our GRIEF will not be controlled. It will live with us from here on.
A MAN OF DETAIL
Winston Churchill once said, “I am easily satisfied with the very best.” Joe was ONLY satisfied with the very best.
We saw this in his collection of things. He collected walking canes, eye glasses, elephants, turtles, angels, photographs - - and photographs of photographs - - and videos of photographs of photographs, and God knows he oversaw quite a collection of beautiful dresses, pocket books, and shoes for his beautiful wife, saint, mother, and grandmother - Alice.
Alice, Joe could tell you the last time you wore each dress, and with which pocket book and fine piece of jewelry - - and who you were with the first night you wore that combination.
We saw his eye for detail in his gardens, his homes, his wardrobe. We saw his eye for detail in the way he ran his businesses. In his finances. In his letters. Every “I” dotted. Every “T” crossed. That signature - - strong and sure. J E Brooks_____.
And he never bored of perfection. He NEVER settled. This was his triumph and his failure, for to never settle for less than perfection is so very difficult in this world of chaos.
We all remember well - - the day we met Joe…. a man with the heart of a lion, the memory of an elephant, the presence and force of a hurricane, and the air of king. Maybe we sat across from him at a large desk. Maybe it was a charity ball, a quiet dinner, sitting on his knee, or during an interview with our palms sweating. I can guarantee - that meeting was on his terms, on his schedule, and the conversation, WELL….we listened.
Because Joe always had an opinion. He had opinionS. Most people who have a multitude of opinions are not worth our time. Not so with Joe. It was as if he stayed up all night thinking about what he would say. And he would never rest with saying something once. Repetition was important for Joe. (Three times before he hung up the phone.) What he said was important to him. It was serious. From the smallest detail, that would cause most to shrug their shoulders – to the largest detail that would overwhelm the average person, all these things were not missed by him.
Everything for him was in the details. He pointed them out IN great detail.
Once when I grabbed the edge of a door to open it, he stopped me. He said, “Always use the door knob.” I got it. You’ll soil the finish over time. Workers walking through his house, “Take off the artillery,” he’d say pointing to their tool belt – lest they scratch a wall. Precision. Thinking ahead of the consequences of one’s actions.
Yet at the same time he always saw the big picture. How was it he could sum up a situation, pass judgment, and decide on a path within minutes? And then that was it. No convincing him otherwise.
So it was with each one of you. He passed judgment in that first encounter. He learned enough about each one of us, analyzing the details - - our finger nails, our shoes, our hair cut, the line of a woman’s lipstick, or the length of her hem, the turn of a phrase, the look in your eye, your enthusiasm, all summed up for him your philosophy, your work ethic, and YOUR attention to detail. And that was it. He loved you or he walked away. No convincing him otherwise. You were HIS or not. You were in or out. And with that blessing of being chosen came responsibility.
To know him was to love him and be loved by him. And being loved by Joe Brooks was not easy. His love was a blessing and a responsibility.
JOE THE FRIEND
Today I look out at this amazing group gathered here to remember Joe and first thing I think is…. He would have approved. He would have been proud. I realize, that in all the details of all the people gathered here, I see Joe.
Joe was not just a collector of things as much as he was a collector of friendships, friendships he valued. He often repeated to me the words of my father. He loved the simple truth of it. He’d say, “I learned long ago I’d never be a millionaire, but I have many friends…. you know one friend is worth more than a million dollars.” Eventually this became a code between Joe and me. Joe would repeat, “you know one friend is worth more than a million dollars.”
You are Joe’s greatest collection. You were valuable to him collectively. Your friendship made him independently wealthy. But more importantly, you were valuable to him individually because he knew the worth of ONE good friend. He knew the value of loyalty. And he pursued both with great vigor. With an eye on the details and an eye on what really mattered.
PEOPLE MATTERED
Joe was a man of strength as you all know and he carried the weight of so many burdens on his shoulders. Most burdens he carried even though we should have carried them ourselves. But it wasn’t always our decision to make. He would carry our burdens even when we didn’t want him to carry them. He took them on and would say to us in so many words, “I’ll do what I want to do” - - and he did.
Joe is a retailing legend, not because of the tremendous turn arounds and the dramatic successes of stores like Filene’s, Rike’s, Burdines, Lord & Taylor, and AnnTaylor Stores. Joe is a retailing legend because he accomplished what he did through people. He was successful because he built businesses with people. ”Businesses are not built with brick and mortar,” he would say. “People build businesses.”
NO SURPRISES
People were so important to Joe, that he planned for THEIR life after his death.
When each of the grand children were born, Joe began planning for your future; (looking to Tommy, Bo, Lexi, Cameron and Ryan) setting aside money for your education and your medical expenses. He wanted you not to want and he worked hard to ensure your success. But he never PLANNED on dying. And he certainly didn’t plan on it happening this quickly.
Death is that way. It invades our world like a midnight intruder.
Despite our mightiest efforts. Despite our far-reaching imagination. Despite our love. Despite our care and concern for others. Despite the great life we may live. Despite our power or lack thereof, death comes to us all - - “ a time to be born, a time to die.”
Today Death has done all it can do to Joe. We are left with the memories of this great legend. We are left with the lessons he taught us. We are left with joyful hope that we will see Joe once more when he no longer has sleepless nights, when he no longer carries the weight of success and failure, when he no longer takes on our burdens. Joe is free of all that contained him. He is free to pursue his far-reaching imagination.
I want us all to remember today, that Joe wanted the best in life. And Joe wanted the best for you.
